What is Mental Health? My Journey with Mental Health and Family Dynamics
Sep 15, 2024
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Mental Health as defined by the oxford dictionary is a person's condition with regards to their physiological and emotional well being.
Navigating the Storm
Talking about mental health can feel like opening Pandora’s box. Online and in certain social circles, it’s becoming more accepted to discuss mental health struggles openly. Yet, within the confines of personal relationships, like family and friends, there’s often a lingering debate, a resistance to fully embrace the conversation. Despite this, I’m incredibly grateful for the progress we’ve made in normalizing these discussions. Today, I want to share a bit about my own experience and the challenges of asking for help and continuing that journey.
Two years ago, I found myself at a breaking point; a life-changing event pushed me to the brink of self-destruction. The stress I was under at home, as a parent nearly losing a child, consumed me with guilt. I constantly replayed the warning signs, questioning if it was somehow my fault. I was ashamed that, given the choice between home and work, I often chose work. Taking my family for granted while I focused on whatever task was at hand.
Work wasn’t a refuge either. I was in a Human Resources role, where team members frequently turned to me as their personal counselor. I’m a human with feelings, and it weighed heavily on me when someone said they couldn’t make rent because their hours were cut, or they were trapped in an abusive relationship and needed resources. On top of that, the store I was managing struggled with sales, staff retention, and simply getting products on the floor. My fellow service industry workers, do you relate?
I reached a point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I was in self-preservation mode and had to let go of something. Thankfully, I had a District Leader who saw my desperation. She encouraged me to seek help and take a leave of absence, assuring me that my job would be waiting when I returned. The respect and gratitude I have for her are immense—she gave me a lifeline.
So, I took the time off and reached out to my family. Some were supportive, but others took it as an opportunity to critique my parenting. Already feeling ashamed, I isolated myself further. My dad, an older Boomer, is staunchly against mental health professionals, believing that once you have a mental illness on record, it’s like a scarlet letter that will haunt you forever. He was particularly opposed to me getting my child a therapist and psychiatrist, fearing it would stigmatize her for life.
At that point, I was barely functioning. I couldn’t get out of bed. I knew I needed professional help, both for myself and my child. I started therapy once a week and, in my shame, distanced myself from my family. My husband, bless him, was supportive, but he too had almost lost our child, and I pleaded with him to seek counseling. He wasn’t judging me, but there was a barrier holding him back. How could he recognize my need for help but not see his own?
The good news is that I eventually got out of bed. Baby steps. I made an effort to leave the bedroom and moved to the couch, where I started interacting with our pets and family. I found a mental health help near me. My husband did get counseling, and after several months, he became an advocate for seeking help when needed. Our child is doing better now. There are peaks and valleys, but overall, life has found a new normal. My dad, while still set in his ways, seems to understand that seeking help doesn’t make us weak, or at least I no longer feel that judgment.
Ultimately, I’ve learned to distance myself from family members who trigger my mental health struggles and how to divert conversations that make me uncomfortable. Because good mental health matters.
Does this hit home for you? What are your thoughts on mental health? How does your family view it?
Life can be incredibly challenging, but there’s always a path forward. Mental health awareness can be a lifeline to someone you love. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness but rather, it’s a step toward strength. If you’re going through something similar, know that you’re not alone. Keep moving forward, even if it’s just a baby step. The light is there, waiting to guide you through the storm.
Love,
Jess Pye
